In 1983, George Peper hit a prodigious slice off the 18th tee
of the Old Course at St.
Andrews, onto the street that borders the hole. He never found the
ball, but he discovered a home, buying a flat on the street after spotting a
“For Sale” sign during his search. For 20 years, the Pepers were absentee
owners, visiting intermittently during the summer and renting it out to
University of
St. Andrews students the
rest of the year.
Then in late 2003, Peper and his wife, Libby, left their
suburban New
York home and moved into the flat full-time. While Two
Years in St. Andrews deals with all aspects of
the Pepers’ new lives, this excerpt focuses on George’s relationship with his
famous neighbor across the joint 1st and 18th fairway, the Royal & Ancient
Golf Club of St. Andrews, of which he is a member.
Early one morning, shortly after we’d arrived, I wandered
over to the Old Course starter’s hut, and I joined three young Americans from
the New York
area. The four hours we spent swatting and chatting were about as good as golf
blind dates get.
Feeling expansive as we walked up the stone steps behind the
18th green, I said, “Would you guys like to come into the R&A for a
drink?”
“The R&A? Wow, yeah,” said one of them. “But are we
dressed OK?”
“No problem, just follow me,” I said, stiff-arming the brass
push plate on the clubhouse door. It didn’t budge. I pushed it again and still
it didn’t move.
“Must be stuck—I’ll have to let the club manager know about
that,” I said, leading my guests to a door on the other side of the portico.
“Just leave your clubs here in the vestibule.”
We installed ourselves in the Trophy Room, a casual bar just
off the main lobby, where I showed the lads some of the club’s artifacts before
realizing no one had come in to take our drink orders.
“Bob!” I bellowed imperiously at the club porter. “Can you
get someone to come in here and take our drink orders, please?”
“Yes, of course, sir,” he said, “But you do know you can do
it easily yourself.”
“I don’t think so,” I said testily. “We’ve been sitting here
rather visibly for 15 minutes and not a soul has appeared.”
“Did you ring the buzzer, sir?” he said.
“Huh?”
“On the wall next to you, sir. It tells the kitchen staff
you’re here.”
“Oh, yes, of course. I must have forgotten,” I said, looking
at a switch, boldly imprinted with the word “BAR.” There were, in fact, several
of them conveniently located around the room.
Although a member of the R&A for 16 years, I had entered
the clubhouse only a handful of times. The truth was, the place sort of scared
me and I hadn’t had the courage to walk in alone. The three young Yanks, by
accompanying me that day, had done as much for me as I had for them.
If they had noticed my ineptitude, they were too polite to
say anything, and they thanked me profusely as we left. Then panic struck—all
four sets of clubs had vanished. I was mortified and angry.
“Uh, Bob,” I said, “our golf clubs are not here.”
“Yes, sir,” he said. “They’re all downstairs in the Bag Room.
You see, they shouldn’t be left in the vestibule—not safe, you know, sir.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” I said lamely. “I’d forgotten.” Then
hoping to salvage some face, I said, “By the way, I wanted to be sure you knew
about the door on the golf course side of the entry. It wouldn’t budge.”
“Right you are, sir,” he said. “It’s shut tight. Has been
since 1983.”
Happy Anniversary
In my first six months at St.
Andrews, I’d made some progress learning the secret handshakes and
tribal rituals of the club. I’d discovered, for instance, that there was a
“monthly medal”—a stroke-play competition among R&A members. I’d also
learned, after a notably unballetic jeté, that the bottom step on the club’s
main staircase was a bit steeper than the others. And after weeks of close
observation I’d cracked the dress code: Jacket and tie were required on parts of
the first floor, all of the second floor and none of the third floor. Most
importantly, perhaps, I’d learned that if you wanted to enjoy several gin and
tonics without being transformed into a blithering fool, you ordered a “club
measure,” and when a chap was said to have gone to “the House of Lords,” it
meant he was relieving himself.
Then I was awakened early one spring morning by the loud,
repeating clank of metal on metal. I staggered to the window to see what was
afoot. Overnight, two dozen trucks and a small battalion of workmen had encamped
just north of the 1st tee of the Old Course, and an ambitious project had begun:
construction of a 64,500-square-foot tent with a 50-foot ceiling, the focal
point for the 16-day celebration of the R&A’s 250th anniversary, the most
lavish party St. Andrews had ever seen.
At one of the black-tie dinners, I had the good fortune to be
seated next to the fellow who, along with Johnny Miller, is in my view golf’s
best TV commentator, Peter Alliss. We had a lovely chat (it’s difficult to have
anything but a lovely chat with Alliss) and toward the end of the evening, I
asked him to confirm a story.
As it went, Alliss and Henry Cotton were doing a live
broadcast of the Women’s British Open at Sunningdale. Sitting in a production
trailer, the two of them thought the viewers were watching an aerial view of a
short par 4.
“Lovely little hole here,” said Alliss, to which the
venerable three-time Open champion Cotton replied, “Yes, but it was a good deal
tighter in my day.” The viewers, in fact, were watching a rear view of LPGA
player Marlene Floyd as she was marking her ball.
It all seemed just too perfect, so having recounted my
version, I asked Alliss, “Is that really true?”
He looked at me with a sly, omniscient smile. “Every
word.”
50,000 People in Our Backyard
Libby and I had considered renting our place for the week of
the 134th Open Championship. A real estate agent had advised us to ask $35,000
for the week. That kind of money was tempting, but in the end, we decided we
hadn’t been living here for two years to not enjoy Open Week.
My 20-year-old son, Scott, was visiting for the summer and we
both had jobs for the week. He was an intern for TNT, sitting inside the production trailer, watching the broadcast and
making note of the exact moment and second of every significant shot, for later
use by the replay and highlights producers.
I had volunteered as a marshal. Before the championship, we
assembled to receive instructions from our chief, who closed by emphasizing the
importance of keeping a low profile. “I know you’re all familiar with Peter
Alliss,” he said. “Well, you know how during telecasts the camera sometimes pans
to the gallery or to strange events outside the ropes, at which point Peter
invariably offers a wittily scathing observation? Your primary mission this week
is to be sure you do not become fodder for Peter Alliss.”
I was fortunate enough to get a plum job guarding the walkway
that separates the bay window of the R&A from the 1st tee. Only players and
caddies were allowed on my turf. Nameless faces and faceless names passed by,
politely nodding at the all-but-superfluous marshal. The only ones who
recognized me and stopped to say hello were my three more or less contemporaries
in the field, Greg Norman, Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus.
And my only real stress came during the first round, not from
people but sounds—two of them. The first was a loud piercing bark from the
southwest that I recognized immediately as my own West Highland White Terrier,
Millie. For an animal with lungs the size of teabags she had astonishing
projection, especially downwind. For a long 30 seconds, Millie Peper was the
voice of the 134th Open. When she went quiet, I prayed that Libby had shut her
inside the house—Tiger’s group was due on the tee in 20 minutes and the last
thing I needed was for my mutt to let out a yelp just as The Striped One took
the club back for his opening tee shot.
The other sonic event occurred just before 10 o’clock, when a
man emerged from the starter’s hut with a panicked look. Since I was the human
being closest to him, I became the recipient of his news: “An alarm is about to
go off.“I’m with the BBC,” he said. “We have access to the hut to store equipment, but no one told me it
had a burglar alarm. I had a key to open the door, but I don’t have the security
code to—”
Then it began, a series of high-volume electronic honks.
Suddenly, players, caddies, officials, R&A members and thousands in the
grandstands turned and stared—at the hut, at the ashen-faced man and at me.
Blessedly, Peter Alliss was on a comfort break.
It was nearly 15 minutes before a Links Trust ranger came to
the rescue. When he disabled the alarm, the ovation was louder than the one that
had greeted Tiger.
On Sunday morning, I was at my post, chatting with Peter
Dawson, R&A chief executive. I pointed at the flagstick on the 18th green,
just a few feet beyond the ridge that climbs out of the Valley of Sin.
“Isn’t that a bit more severe than in past championships?” I
asked.
He looked at it for a moment, then, with a wry smile, said,
“Yes, I believe it is.”
Tiger won by five, with a score of 14 under, five strokes
higher than he’d shot on the same course in 2000. The hard ground and numerous
challenging hole locations—like the one at the 18th—had enabled the Old Course
to defend herself against the best players in the world—no tricking up
required.
Once the presentation was over, people flooded across the
course for hours. The wait for photos at the Swilken Bridge was close to 30
minutes. (I wished I’d had the foresight to create a life-sized cardboard blowup
of Tiger holding the claret jug—I could have made a fortune charging people to
pose with it.)
During the slow exodus of the crowds, friends and neighbors
wandered through our back gate for drinks and postmortem conversation. As
darkness fell, a solitary figure crouched on the 18th green, stroking putt after
putt toward that elusive cup: Scott Peper.
From TWO YEARS IN ST. ANDREWS by George Peper. Copyright
©2006 by George Peper. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc.